I\u2019ve spent years in rooms built for learning\u2014rooms with whiteboards, Zoom links, breakout groups, and coffee breaks. So far in 2025, I\u2019ve presented more than 20 workshops and keynote speeches for nearly 3,000 people. My work these days? It\u2019s different.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been speaking professionally since 1996. Some of those sessions sparked a lasting impact. Others? They filled the time. Reflecting, I think I may have been asking the wrong question. I was asking, \u201cWhat do I need to say?\u201d when I should have been asking, \u201cWhat could happen here that couldn\u2019t happen anywhere else?\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s the question I ask now\u2026as I walk on stage or log into the next Microsoft Teams meeting. That shift in mindset has changed everything. It reshapes how I show up\u2014not as the presenter or the trainer but as a facilitator of possibility.<\/p>\n
My job, I\u2019ve come to understand, is to create conditions for connection, not just the content for instruction. That means releasing control, listening more than I speak, and making space for something unexpected to take root. The emergent. Insight.<\/p>\n
I do not come before you to \u201cteach\u201d in the traditional sense; no, not anymore. With an abundance of information a click away, the real value of a live session isn\u2019t in delivering knowledge; it\u2019s in co-creating meaning. That distinction matters.<\/p>\n
Because when the person in front of the room stops viewing themself as the expert in the room and starts acting as the convener of something bigger, something more communal, the session transforms. Each experience becomes about connection, not performance.<\/p>\n
The most meaningful sessions I facilitate do not depend on how polished my slides are or how many insights I pack into my talk. Instead, sessions are memorable because people connect, genuinely and without pretense. They connect not only with each other, but with the experience, the content, and possibilities. The power wasn\u2019t in what I deliver, but in what they discover\u2014together<\/em>\u2014when the room became theirs.<\/p>\n I remember one workshop where I ditched the opener entirely. Instead of jumping into a model or concept, I asked each person to write on a 3×5 notecard the answers to these questions:<\/p>\n No slides. No long introduction. That was the warm-up activity. A prompt. Then I set a nine-minute timer and asked them to share what they wrote in groups of three (there were 150-plus people in the room). What followed was electric. People turned to one another and started sharing; and they did so honestly, not performatively. By the time we reconvened, we weren\u2019t a room full of strangers anymore. We were teammates. That session wasn\u2019t about my brilliance but the trust I allowed to emerge.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve noticed three things are almost always present: space, permission, and trust. The room needs space to breathe, not just space on the agenda. People need permission to show up as themselves, not just as roles or titles. And trust? It isn\u2019t built through icebreakers or bios; it comes from curiosity, listening, and creating a sense that everyone belongs. As Chip and Dan Heath wrote, moments matter. But not just celebratory moments. Insightful<\/em> ones.<\/p>\n To consistently create those moments, I rely on three internal checks before every session.<\/p>\n First:<\/strong> What\u2019s my default?<\/em> What patterns do I automatically bring in\u2014openings, structures, pacing\u2014and are they serving this group or just my comfort zone?<\/p>\n Second:<\/strong> What\u2019s this room asking for?<\/em> Some groups need energy. Others need stillness.<\/p>\n Third:<\/strong> Who else here holds wisdom?<\/em> Because I\u2019ve learned that it\u2019s rarely just me.<\/p>\n My go-to rhythm for sessions reflects that approach. I open with a short, story-driven segment\u201410 minutes or less. I follow that with a written reflection prompt so people can find their own entry point. Then I ask them to gather in triads, not just to talk but to share what surfaced because of<\/em> what they wrote. That \u201cbecause of\u201d language changes everything, shifting the energy from discussion to discovery. And finally, I close with a reflection that weaves in the insights I heard.<\/p>\n The result?<\/p>\n A room where everyone contributed, not just the loudest voice.<\/p>\n This approach also has changed how I evaluate my work. Success is no longer applause or perfect transitions. It\u2019s watching people stay engaged without being managed, hearing them continue the conversation without needing me, and getting a message days later saying, \u201cWe\u2019re still using what we started that day.\u201d When that happens, I know we did something that mattered.<\/p>\n And here\u2019s the wild part: That usually happens when I get out of the way, when I stop trying to control the flow and instead trust the group to meet the moment. The best sessions aren\u2019t the ones where I nailed the content. They\u2019re where the room leaned in\u2014not to hear what I\u2019d say next<\/em>, but to explore what they could uncover together<\/em>. That\u2019s the real work now. Not teaching at<\/em> people but learning with<\/em> them.<\/p>\n So before every session, I pause and ask myself the most critical question in my playbook:<\/p>\n What could happen here that couldn\u2019t happen anywhere else?<\/em><\/p>\n That question grounds me. It reminds me that the room doesn\u2019t need a sage. It needs a spark, a mirror, and an invitation.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re preparing to lead, consider letting go of what you need to say and starting to listen to what the room is ready to become.<\/p>\n That\u2019s where the real learning begins.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Before every learning session, ask yourself: \u201cWhat could happen here that couldn\u2019t happen anywhere else?\u201d It\u2019s a reminder that the room doesn\u2019t need a sage. It needs a spark, a mirror, and an invitation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[18],"class_list":{"0":"post-64041","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-magazine","7":"tag-training-today","8":"magazine_issues-june-2025"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n\n
Space, Permission, and Trust<\/h2>\n
Learning with<\/em> People<\/h2>\n