{"id":37283,"date":"2024-07-24T12:47:49","date_gmt":"2024-07-24T17:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trainingmag.com\/?p=37283"},"modified":"2024-07-24T12:48:24","modified_gmt":"2024-07-24T17:48:24","slug":"the-brain-power-of-empathy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trainingmag.com\/the-brain-power-of-empathy\/","title":{"rendered":"The (Brain) Power of Empathy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Leaders today contend with a whirligig of people challenges. Whether fielding variable remote teams and policies, answering increasing performance demands, or incorporating artificial intelligence-type efficiencies, we balance dizzying expectations and exigencies. And that\u2019s just today. Tomorrow\u2019s unavoidable squalls may include requests to trim budgets, increase capacity, and \u201cright-size\u201d staffs.<\/p>\n

To execute on any one of these requires the equivalent of the gift of tongues. Consider empathy an invaluable assist.<\/p>\n

While the leadership toolbox features proven practices, such as creating clarity, building trust, and communicating openly and often, empathy can both ease and strengthen. Precisely why\u2014and how\u2014has everything to do with the way our brains connect us. Therein lies its power\u2014especially if we\u2019re the ones controlling the voltage.<\/p>\n

Making Intent Stickier<\/h2>\n

Though never formally taught, we are expected to just know how to <\/em>be empathic. It\u2019s obvious when we see it in action; satisfying when we enact it ourselves; and perplexing when we swing and miss. When it lands, empathy makes our intent stickier.<\/p>\n

Consider Tony, previously a top performer, who has consistently underperformed. Attempts to understand the whys<\/em> have included several conversations, some face-to-face, where we\u2019ve communicated our observations, and clearly stated goals and objectives.<\/p>\n

Reasonable responses might vary when considering Tony\u2019s legitimate grievances (a sick parent, sabotaging coworker, conflicting feedback from team leads). Those of us more sympathetic<\/em> convey care and concern. We acknowledge Tony\u2019s predicament and feel genuinely sorry about it. We commiserate while viewing Tony\u2019s situation as, well, Tony\u2019s. After all, our job is to acknowledge, support, and provide some blend of understanding and guidance. If asked how Tony felt as a result, it\u2019s hard to tell; Tony didn\u2019t say. And we didn\u2019t ask. Meanwhile, Tony continues to overpromise and underdeliver.<\/p>\n

Those of us choosing a more empathic <\/em>route attempt to try on Tony\u2019s shoes. Perhaps we conjure our own experience of tending a sick parent or child, observe firsthand that co-worker\u2019s manipulations, feel the pinch of our own conflicting deadlines. We recognize the familiar stomach clench or heat wave as we relate to Tony\u2019s predicament(s). These reactions confirm a perspective-taking<\/em> form of empathy. An empathic response might sound something like, \u201cI get it, Tony; you\u2019re really struggling with a lot right now. How can I help?\u201d (and mean it).<\/p>\n

Even if we haven\u2019t walked the full mile in Tony\u2019s shoes, our attempt to moves us beyond simply feeling sorry (aka sympathy) for Tony.<\/p>\n

Empathy to Compassion Throughway<\/h2>\n

While sympathy allows us to acknowledge the situation, empathy\u2019s grip compels us to act. Our brain registers that grip initially as physical, hence the stomach churn or warm flush, which is our body signaling our brain to respond.<\/p>\n

Our empathy may provide just the nudge Tony needs to change something. And just the stimulus our own brain needs to transmit a shot of dopamine\u2014and maybe even oxytocin\u2014the feel-good brain hormones that leave us wanting to do more, not less. The more we fortify our connection with Tony, the more likely we are to act on it, the greater the likelihood that Tony will be motivated to improve. Welcome to the empathy to compassion throughway.<\/p>\n

Empathy without awareness, however, can create what social scientists Tal Eyal and Nick Epley<\/a> call perspective mistaking<\/em>. Just as our biases are uniquely ours, so, too, are our stomach clenches. My toothache, muscle pain, and indigestion differ from yours. As powerful and important as empathy is, its power diminishes if we assume others, especially subordinates, see or feel things exactly as we do.<\/p>\n

When we take (and not mistake) another\u2019s perspective, we form an actual theory about what\u2019s going on with that person, even if, and because, we can\u2019t necessarily see it. We\u2019ve experienced this Theory of Mind<\/a>, for instance, if we\u2019ve cried when a favored character dies in a novel. Romeo\u2019s self-destruction probably wouldn\u2019t have been as sad had we not witnessed his family struggles, passion for Juliet, and identity conflicts. In other words, myriad subliminal questions needed to be asked and answered for our brain to form enough connection with Romeo to truly empathize. Eyal and Epley call this Q&A process \u201cperspective getting.\u201d<\/p>\n

It Takes Two to Tango<\/h2>\n

Think of empathy as a kind of Tango\u2014it takes two. We see that Tango in good managers, doctors, friends, and therapists. Good leaders don\u2019t just expect or assume others will follow, they Tango with them.<\/p>\n

Research<\/a> also shows that when people higher on the power scale engage in \u201cperspective getting,\u201d individuals with lesser status feel heard. Perspective-getting techniques range from simple curiosity about Tony\u2019s point of view, to disagreeing without threatening and even revealing a bit or our own vulnerability. We express this kind of empathy through phrases such as, \u201cI had that happen to me once, and I was really confused\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Displaying empathy summons receivers into our \u201cingroup.\u201d Once \u201cin,\u201d we process their words in the same part of our brains as we process our own thoughts, making us more likely and willing to aid. As psychologist Dan Batson, who has studied empathy for more than four decades, writes in the \u201cHandbook of Positive Psychology<\/a>,\u201d \u201cConsiderable evidence supports the idea that feeling empathy for a person in need leads to increased helping of that person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Our perceptions shape themselves around the connections we feel, or don\u2019t feel, with others.<\/p>\n

Lisa Feldman Barrett<\/a>, author of \u201cSeven and a Half Lessons about the Brain,\u201d notes the difficulty of empathizing with people different from us (i.e., not in our ingroup). Studies<\/a> have found, for instance, that interviewers\u2014even smart and well-meaning ones\u2014tend to prefer job candidates who are like themselves and dismiss those who aren\u2019t. There\u2019s no better way to mitigate our brain\u2019s negative bias than to Tango someone into our ingroup.<\/p>\n

As social animals, humans possess the unique ability to think and feel from another\u2019s perspective, to form connections regardless of race, sex, or status. Once connected, we wield the full might of the golden rule. Such is the brain power of empathy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Think of empathy as a kind of Tango\u2014it takes two. Good leaders don\u2019t just expect or assume others will follow, they Tango with them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2801,"featured_media":37284,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[16],"class_list":{"0":"post-37283","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-magazine","8":"tag-feature","9":"magazine_issues-july-2024"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe (Brain) Power of Empathy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Think of empathy as a kind of Tango\u2014it takes two. 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