{"id":11086,"date":"2018-07-12T20:04:58","date_gmt":"2018-07-13T01:04:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trainingmag.com\/sharing-critical-feedback\/"},"modified":"2018-07-12T20:04:58","modified_gmt":"2018-07-13T01:04:58","slug":"sharing-critical-feedback","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trainingmag.com\/sharing-critical-feedback\/","title":{"rendered":"Sharing Critical Feedback"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\tQ: <\/strong>Our organization has a culture of kindness, which leads to managers not sharing difficult feedback with direct reports. Many fear facing emotional reactions from their staff. Any advice?<\/p>\n

\n\tA:<\/strong> Being the bearer of bad news is neither fun nor easy. While many in this situation default to beating around the bush, or worse, avoiding the critical feedback altogether, managers have more success by being direct (although not harsh) very early on.<\/p>\n

\n\tFirst, take a few minutes to talk about something other than work. Research shows that as little as a few minutes of upfront conversation unrelated to the matter at hand dramatically increases the level of collaboration going forward.<\/p>\n

\n\tNext, ease into the conversation with a gentle warning that emotionally prepares the listener: \u201cI have some unfortunate feedback to share with you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tProceed by sharing three pieces of information:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n\t\tYour attitude toward the employee<\/li>\n
  2. \n\t\tThe feedback itself<\/li>\n
  3. \n\t\tHow you feel about the feedback<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \n\tFor example, \u201cI really value you as a member of our team, and would like to see you grow with the company. Nevertheless, I cannot promote you at this time. I feel bad, and wish this weren\u2019t the case.\u201d<\/p>\n

    \n\tExpress empathy and solicit their reaction: \u201cI\u2019m sure this comes as a shock, and is disappointing. What\u2019s going through your mind?\u201d<\/p>\n

    \n\tNow comes the hard part. Sit quietly and listen attentively as the person responds.<\/p>\n

    \n\tWhen the employee is done speaking, fight the urge to explain the decision. Instead, summarize everything he or she has expressed\u2014both the words and the context; confirm with the employee that you understood him or her correctly and that you have not missed anything. Doing this will help the employee feel understood, and, in turn, should help de-escalate the situation.<\/p>\n

    \n\tThere is a good chance the employee\u2019s initial response might be, \u201cWhy?!\u201d So be prepared to support any evaluative statements (e.g., \u201cYou have been underperforming\u201d) with objective data (e.g., \u201cYou have generated 20 percent less than your peers), and to be encouraging about his or her ability to control the outcome in the future (e.g., \u201cI know you have it in you to make it up next year\u201d).<\/p>\n

    \n\tOne of the hazards to be wary of in this type of conversation is the conflation of your relationship with the decision at hand, e.g., \u201cIf you really appreciate me as a worker, you would promote me.\u201d Should you encounter this, address both aspects of the assertion independently. First, address the relationship component (e.g., you must not appreciate me as a worker) until the matter is resolved. For example, \u201cI do appreciate you. I\u2019m sorry if I haven\u2019t done enough to express that appreciation. I have tried, though, and will continue to try. Have there been other times you haven\u2019t felt appreciated?\u201d Once that has been addressed, share the reasons behind your feedback\/ decision.<\/p>\n

    \n\tThroughout the conversation, provide an opportunity to ask questions and to share the employee\u2019s perspectives (supported by data). Ensure that he or she understands the feedback and rationale, since understanding generally leads to acceptance. Eliciting his or her data ensures you haven\u2019t overlooked important information when making your decision.<\/p>\n

    \n\tClose with empathy (\u201cI\u2019m sorry this is how things played out\u201d), and with a positive outlook for the future (\u201cOnce you master this aspect of the job, I look forward to promoting you\u201d). Most important, invite the employee to come back to you with further questions or thoughts on the topic.<\/p>\n

    \n\tMichael Rosenthal is managing partner of Consensus (www.consensusgroup.com<\/a>), a negotiation and conflict resolution firm headquartered in New York City and with regional offices in Europe, India, and the Middle East. Consensus provides Talent Development services, including customized training and coaching, as well as Consulting and Peace Building services. For more information, contact 212.391.8100 or mrosenthal@consensusgroup.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \n\tBeing the bearer of bad news is neither fun nor easy. Successful managers tend to be direct (although not harsh) early on in the conversation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":108,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[24],"class_list":{"0":"post-11086","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-magazine","7":"tag-last-word","8":"magazine_issues-july-2018"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSharing Critical Feedback<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/trainingmag.com\/sharing-critical-feedback\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Sharing Critical Feedback\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Being the bearer of bad news is neither fun nor easy. 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