Do you want to be a great trainer? Would you like to be a world-class leader? Do you want the respect and recognition of your peers, your family, friends, boss, and subordinates?<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll be well on your way if you do two things\u2014both within the power of anyone reading this article:<\/p>\n
1. Learn to ask the right questions in the right way.
\n2. Learn to listen.<\/p>\n
Does that sound too good to be true? Well, it is good\u2014and it is true. Write down the names of the three people you most respect and admire. Are they good listeners?<\/p>\n
In all likelihood, they are. We like and respect good listeners. We will do more for good listeners. We feel an obligation to support the people we respect and trust. Listening helps do that for you.<\/p>\n
Make no mistake about it: Listening is more than just keeping your mouth shut.<\/p>\n
VERBAL PING-PONG<\/strong><\/p>\n Many people appear to listen\u2014but they\u2019re only waiting for their turn to talk. The result is two one-way conversations going on at the same time\u2014verbal ping-pong, with participants changing the subject when the ball is in their court.<\/p>\n Questions can help us to be better listeners. Asking questions shows we want to keep the ball in the other person\u2019s court. The two types of questions we can use to do this are information questions and opinion questions.<\/p>\n An information question has a right-or-wrong component. This question, for example, has a right answer: What is the company policy on taking paid vacation?<\/p>\n You often can use questions in training for the purpose of helping people learn, not merely for testing. Often, I will ask a question and then say, \u201cTalk about this in your group for one minute and come up with your best answer.\u201d In those 60 seconds, each group revisits the content and probably comes up with the right answer. Moreover, everyone\u2019s engaged. And the discussion anchors key content in their memories.<\/p>\n An opinion question, on the other hand, asks for just that\u2014an opinion. The answer isn\u2019t right or wrong. If I\u2019m leading a group, I ask an opinion question and then say, \u201cYou have two minutes to discuss this\u2014and then be prepared to share your opinions.\u201d<\/p>\n Instead of criticizing opinions that emerge, we should reward people for speaking up.<\/p>\n DON\u2019T CUT THEM OFF<\/strong><\/p>\n One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to ask a question and then, as people respond, cut them off and finish their responses for them. After you ask a question, give the other person time to respond. Listening is a gift. Give it often.<\/p>\n What is crucial about being a good listener is attitude. No matter how many programs you\u2019ve taken or books you\u2019ve read, to be a good listener, you must want to be a good listener.<\/p>\n However, we tend to divide people into groups. The worthy we listen to. The unworthy we do not. Do we listen to the CEO more closely than to the janitor? Probably. What if each said he or she needed five minutes and we were busy? To whom would we listen? Probably the CEO. But who would you miss more if the person were gone for six months without a replacement? Everyone is important.<\/p>\n The CEO of a hospital once sat in the cafeteria with one of the hospital janitors. They discussed how long the janitor had been at the hospital and they bantered about sports. When the CEO asked about family, the janitor smiled and pulled out photos of seven children. He described how each had excelled, won scholarships to Harvard and Stanford, and that each of the seven was now a doctor, lawyer, or had a doctorate and was teaching.<\/p>\n The CEO left that encounter humbled.<\/p>\n Who was the real leader? Who was the real manager? Who focused on the important rather than the unimportant?<\/p>\n Who will you listen to today? What questions will you ask? Give the gift of love by giving the gift of listening. As a friend of mine, Bob Conklin, once said: \u201cListening is one way of having people say, \u2018I feel better about me when I\u2019m with you.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Until next time, continue to add value and make a difference!<\/p>\n Bob Pike, CSP, CPLP FELLOW, CPAE-Speakers Hall of Fame, is known as the \u201ctrainer\u2019s trainer.\u201d He is the author of more than 30 books, including \u201cCreative Training Techniques Handbook\u201d and his newest book, \u201cThe Master Trainer\u2019s Handbook.\u201d You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook using bobpikectt.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If you want to be a great leader\u2014and trainer\u2014just listen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":33,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"cybocfi_hide_featured_image":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[26],"class_list":{"0":"post-10500","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-magazine","7":"tag-trainer-talk","8":"magazine_issues-july-2016"},"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n